Day 14. 10 small moments
1. I almost lose it over socks this morning. He pushes my buttons to the extreme, and it takes me a couple of hours to get control and breathe and think straight. These are the parts of parenting that are terrible. That are wasteful. That are hurtful and can cause damage if I allow it.
2. We belly up to the bar after our meeting and eat our tacos for lunch... And then we order tacos to-go for the crew.
3. Her check up goes smoothly, and all is well. She receives 3 shots like a champ, but she looks at me with betrayal for a split second before shifting to a look of longing and a need for comfort. The pendulum of facial expressions gut me.
4. I have 5 minutes to grab a coffee from Shorewood: an Americano and a gingersnap cookie.
5. We walk through the house again, but this time with consultants. The more I walk through it, the more I feel like it's ours. The planning helps soothe me.
6. We're not too late to the shindig, thank goodness. I get the chance that I've wanted for many months! I've wanted to tell the runners, in person, how freaking vital they are; how they will be the main interaction between the customers and the kitchen, and that they will have the data first and the data never lies: what did customers NOT eat on their plates?
7. I order the filet mignon because this is my post birthday dinner and apparently we are celebrating all month long.
8. I adjust a few plants. I feel like I want and need to do a lot more, but I also feel the need to wait until almost the end out of respect for the others. I wonder if this is what I will feel like at their weddings when my kids grow up.
9. He opens up a big white binder in the kitchen and shows me the first page: a current company phone list. Both my mouth and stomach drop. "When did the font get so tiny?" is my second thought.
10. It's night time and we turn on dance music loudly on the system and enjoy the new space as if it's just another room in our house. I spin and dance and strut and pretty much act like a happy idiot. The casual freedom of it shaves off just a little of the anxiety. Just a little.
