Day 7. 10 small moments

1. We pour her coffee when she arrives each morning. I like how this has become a habit. A ritual.

2. After the boys leave, I start a load laundry before we head out for a walk. I almost forget a blanket but she reminds me by reaching for her lovey. I bring both. 

3. The sky is similar to yesterday, and the lake is a beautifully moody blue-gray today. I’m eager for us to be near it. It had stopped raining, but there is still a mist that wraps around us.

4. We pick her up from school and I feel so happy to see her. She’ll be gone this Fall, and life will be different. She’ll be different and she won’t notice because the change unfolds slowly. I take a moment to appreciate her before firing off questions about her life since I haven’t seen her in a week or so. How do I explain to each of the kids that asking questions means that one cares deeply?

5. I love my wallpaper. It’s MINE in a business of HIS. This way of thinking could set us backwards a few steps, but I’m comfortable claiming territory even in a collaborative endeavor. I feel/felt strongly enough about it, and he has lovingly supported me through quiet acquiescence.

6. We taste test the new menu items, and I watch his facial expressions and body language before/during/after each dish. I can read him so well. I ask if he’s free for a coffee date an hour later so that I can listen.

7. I pick up one of the boys and we spend an hour at the craft store preparing for a weekend activity of making personalized treasure boxes. He selects a weird dragon skull thing and some 3D eyeballs from the jewelry section. We’ll turn it into a magical amulet. I’m not doing his creative thought process justice, but I am just as eager for him to work on it. It's going to be great, I know it.

8. He helps me pick out fake succulents for the cafes by determining which ones look truly fake or convincingly real. He’s really good at this. I’ll ask for his help in this endeavor from now on.

9. Now I have both boys and it’s amazing how the dynamics have changed. The energy has shifted, and it is no longer calm. He tries to get attention by any means possible.

10. We have left overs for dinner and quickly wrap up the evening so that we can make a game plan. We both make plans to feel more comfortable about the future. There is anxiety in the unknown, but we seem to be repeatedly drawn to the mystery of the unknown nonetheless.