Day 30. 10 small moments

1. It is one of those mornings where I’m in really dark mood, and the covers create my pretend “cave of solitude” — ideally and perhaps in another life... Instead, my little one taps my nose repeatedly until I am fully awake.

2. I start a load of laundry before breakfast and fantasize about prairie days where people had a total of two or three outfits... but then again that was long before Loving vs. Virginia, and he and I wouldn’t have had laundry to commingle in the first place.

3. I crave the oat milk latte I had in Colorado. Already my mind is romanticizing it to become Next-Level-Coffee for my memory bank. [see also: “drinking espresso at a Parisian cafe”]

4. The morning meetings are loooong today. Long. Long. Long. But I find all of it fascinating and important. This, if anything, is the sign of a successful vacation.

5. He plays with my hair. I know, then, that he's feeling anxious and needing connection. We know each other’s tells. My heart feels achy and full of love with a shadow of sadness, even so.

6. So proud of her for taking the leap and making such a remarkable change in her life. I don’t even really know her, but she’s owning her path and she’s brave. I’m thankful for all that she’s done for us. I’m thankful for meeting her in this phase of her life, and also curious. She will be a vastly different person I’ll be greeting if our paths cross again.

7. Lemon-Rose pistachio yogurt bowl. Daaaaaaaayum, kitchen crew.

8.  I thoroughly water the mostly dead container of flowers at the new house. There are still a handful of green leaves and two teeny tiny flowers. I learned long ago (by watching The Princess Bride a gajillion times) that “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.” 

9. The boys try and figure out how to play my old Wii game, Zelda Twilight Princess, and constantly barrage me with questions on strategy and logistics — sometimes handing me the controls so that I can get through an obstacle for them. They don’t know that I’ve been waiting for this precise moment all my adult life. This is me in my element. I try to savor every second, but the time slips through my fingers.

10. We share a decadent brownie I brought home from work. Small blessings and appreciation.