Day 11. 10 small moments

1.  He made my favorite breakfast: Sinangag (Filipino fried rice). This simple gesture means so much. It kicks off a day of celebrating my 42 years, and all of the different paths I chose to get me here... and to him.

2. I check on the garden and see that the rabbits have, once again, bitten off the heads of my tulips. I wouldn't mind so much if they ATE the flowers... but no, they simply bite the heads off and leave the beautiful and delicate tulips right next to their decapitated bodies... Sadistic punks. :/

3. The long walk is meditative. I start it with a question with the intention of finding the answer before I return home. It comes to me on the boardwalk by the lake.

4. We meet with 7 bankers and investment consultants, and they listen to his every word and question. I fall in love with him all over again -- because he is wearing a Billabong shirt while one of them is wearing a three-piece suit. Because he touches my knee to make sure I am included and present. Because he understands the different graphs and figures and wants me to understand them too.

5. I go to the appointment he scheduled for me, and feel a little weird going into this new space -- a space previously habitually visited only by him... I feel special and a little like I shouldn't be there, but they welcome me.

6. I go to one of our cafes and order a drink recommended by a friend: a cardamom + lavender latte. I decide to get it over ice, and I miss her, as well as our time together.

7. I have an hour before the kids come home. I choose to do laundry and fold clothes instead of playing a video game like I told myself I'd do for my birthday. Adulting...

8. I respond to the birthday emails and texts and feel loved. I need to do a better job at reaching out because it feels so damn good to be remembered across the miles and years.

9. I bring 2 bags of chips and guacamole to the pot luck that we aren't attending to atone for our absence.

10. Two words: Birthday Cake